Building an Effective and Lasting Child Custody Arrangement after the Marriage Ends
Just because divorce shakes up a home life does not necessarily mean that it will continue to do so over time. It is important to create an agreement that is long-lasting, rather than temporary, especially in situations where children are involved. Everyone needs some sense of stability and routine to their day-to-day activities, even those who thrive under spontaneity. For those who enjoy the unexpected and the ability to create each day to their liking, the randomness is a sort of routine. We decide which works best for us as adults, but as parents, we must do what is best for our children. Psychologists believe having a stable routine offers many benefits. Parents should consider creating a stable environment when creating a child custody arrangement after a divorce ends.
Steady Routines Bolster Future Success
Routine is not just about going to bed at the same time every day or eating dinner together as a family every night. The most important thing you can do for your child is to provide as much routine as possible throughout the day. Psychologists believe when a schedule is predictable, children can relax and trust in their environment. Even in a situation where a child visits two homes regularly, the daily routine should not waver significantly, but if necessary, keep each routine consistent within each environment. Routine also includes which days and holidays a child may expect to see each parent. A few benefits of having a routine include:
- Eliminating power struggles,
- Reducing anxiety,
- Promoting a sense of scheduling their activities,
- Learning to enjoy a small part of their routine,
- Maintaining a body rhythm to assist in sleeping, and
- Enabling consistent expectations.
How to Create a Plan That Works after Divorce
One of the most important things to remember is unless a situation becomes dangerous to do so, children need equal time with both of their parents to create a bond. Studies show that children who have equal or close to equal amounts of time with each parent go on to become more stabilized adults, which is what we want for our children. Therefore, it is in their best interest to make and maintain a co-parenting arrangement by not skipping visits or shorting the other parent of their allotted time. Other ideas that assist in creating a long and lasting plan for your children include:
- Ask your child for their input,
- Make both homes familiar,
- Do not compete,
- Create a plan for packing,
- Keep calendars in both homes signifying who gets what days,
- Maintain common ground in both homes,
- Make arrival days comforting, and
- Determine who drops off on switching days.
Create a Plan
Divorce does not only affect the husband and wife, or domestic partners, that are separating from each other, it has broad impacts on the children involved as well. If you would like to discuss options for child custody arrangements, it is important to contact an attorney to find out what is available. To reach a proven and experienced Kane County, IL family law attorney, call The Stogsdill Law Firm, P.C. today by calling 630-462-9500.